Once upon a time, Moscow had been an enormous village, and Petrograd a metropolis. Moscow represented the landowners and retailers, Petrograd the military and the officers. Moscow was considered full-blooded Russian, Slavophile, hospitable — in other words, the very coronary heart of Russia. Petrograd was European, impersonal, egotistic, the bureaucratic brains of the nation.
But slander poured forth in a chilly lava stream. It pressed down automatically on the consciousness, and was much more devastating to the will. This doesn’t mean, however, that a Bolshevik was at all times and in every thing a Bolshevik. To absorb a certain philosophic out look into one’s flesh and blood, to make it dominate one’s consciousness, and to co-ordinate with it one’s sensory world is given not to every one however to just a few.
Ever since 1921, my private interests had shifted to a different subject. The struggle was over; the army had been lowered from five profile egirl vc million, three hundred thousand males to six hundred thousand. The army work was getting into bureaucratic channels.
The seventies passed into historical past mainly as the years of “The People’s Will.” The finest parts of that technology went up in the blaze of the dynamite warfare. Then adopted a decade of decline, of disenchantment and pessimism, of non secular and moral searchings the eighties. Under the veil of response, nonetheless, the forces of capitalism had been blindly at work. The nineties introduced with them workers’ strikes and Marxist ideas. The new tide reached its end result in the first decade of the new century within the year 1905.
Such a home routine left but a modest place for the youngsters. We knew no need, however neither did we all know the generosities of life — its caresses. My childhood does not appear to me like a sunny meadow, as it does to the small minority; neither does it seem like a darkish cave of hunger, violence and distress, because it does to the bulk.
There was the inevitable examination of my belongings within the centre of the prison “star,” on the intersection of five wings, each of them four tales high. The staircases were of iron, and had been suspended. The peculiar prison night-silence, saturated with heavy vapors and nightmarishness.
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There was no strolling, nor had been there any neighbors. I couldn’t see anything through my window, which had been completely sealed up for the winter. I got no parcels from outdoors, and I had no tea or sugar. Prisoner’s stew was given to me once a day, for dinner. A ration of rye bread with salt was breakfast and supper. I had lengthy discussions with myself as to whether I ought to enhance my morning portion on the expense of the night one.